Willandermonium

I feel like I just watched a movie that would go straight to video. It tired me out and left a bad taste in my mouth, mainly because it contained an Australian comedian.
     I was in a hospital watching a live comedy gig by this Australian comedian. It was titled Will Andermonium. I'm not sure if that has ever been a title of one of his shows, so I am not claiming it as my own. It could well be my subconscious remembering something I had seen once.
     The first half of the show was mildly funny. Then it was intermission and afterwards he played a self-indulgent mockumentary to his crowd. It depicted the trauma of orphans in Romanian orphanges. Normally it would be a harrowing topic and not self-indulgent at all.
     Except that he directed himself in the starring role of sadistic orphanage warden complete with fake thin moustache and bald head wig and terrible eastern Bloc accent. I read a book through the whole sordid affair by the luminescence of a bicycle light. nobody seemed disturbed by it.
     Before the end I left the movie and walked into the halls of the relatively deserted hospital without any clothes at all.
     I had an overwhelming feeling of hunger.
     I stopped at a kiosk and ordered fried chips. the deep fryer and cook was set right behind glass like a pizza chef assembling a pizza for the show of it. But on seeing the viscous and torpid soup of lard in which the potato was frying I declined the meal. The potato chef did not look up at me.
     It was then I decided I should clothe myself and began searching for something to wear. For some reason I looked in all the bathrooms, presumably in an attempt to swaddle myself in toilet tissue and paper hand towels.
     As I left the last bathroom a nurse saw me and said:
     "This guy again. Come on, let's get you some scrubs."
     And she led me away towards coverings.
     I woke up.
     Tom

Happy Birthday

Happy Fifth Birthday to our two beautiful oldest daughters. Everyday they (and also our other younger daughter) do something that tells me they will be better and smarter and more well adjusted than I ever will be.

Tom

Women/People of Letters

Caught this fantastic show yesterday evening at the Adelaide Fringe Festival. There were ten readings from Australian celebrities, although none of them would enjoy the term apparently, and I believe that to be genuine. Some were touching, some were blokey, some very intellectual, others low brow. Topics included family, celebrity, politics, love, death and vegetarianism.
     Every single one was meaningful.
     It was an entertaining and inspirational evening listening to letters, some more heartfelt than others, written to somebody else.
     The highlight was the exchange between Peter Goldsworthy on his daughter's vegetarianism and his daughter Anna calling him on his lapsed vegetarianism.
     So, once again, the bug to write letters invades and replicates within me.
     Join me if you wish. Let me know.

Tom

Evolution

I have three children. All three happen to be female and two happen to be the same age and all are individual. And they are so vulnerable at their current age. None of them are old enough to start school yet. They are exploding with vocabulary and ideas and open to everything. They ask where food comes from and can pinpoint the difference between vegan and non-vegan food with a clarity that most adults struggle with.
     Squidge.
     Is it a word? Best I could find was that a squidge is: to make a squelching noise.
     Of all the amazing things I have heard from these three children and all the mature ideas they have come out with and all the lengthy sentences they have erected, this word screams evolution to me. Now I am not bignoting my youngest child as some sort of future human. But she scooped out too much rice onto her spoon when eating tonight's curry and described it as a big squidge of rice.
     Onomatopoeic I reckon.
     And it is not a word I have used in that context. Nor would have her sisters. She came out with it because it seemed right.
     That is what amazed me. I have no doubts or fears of any of the three children at the dinner table tonight outshining me. Probably even sooner than I think. It shows creativity and confidence. And now humanity is done with the grand signs of evolution, I think this sort of thing is the way we evolve from now on.
     By grand signs I mean going from quadrupedal locomotion to bipedal or increasing brain size. If someone was born with a tremendously greater brain cavity and the brain matter to fill it most people would probably look at it with a form of disgust. If a congenitally one-legged person managed to propel him or herself with significantly greater efficiency we would probably try to expel them from elite athletics because they are cheating.
     Evolution is now down to ideas and thoughts and that squidge of rice said to me that my kids will be fine.
Tom

Spineless Wonders Presents ...

Went to this wonderful event on Tuesday night at The Wheatsheaf Hotel in Thebarton, Adelaide. It runs every three months. Anybody who is interested in a mixture of acting and literature and and early night or a late night (as you wish) would find this night fascinating and enlightening and funny.
     Highly talented actors. Highly talented authors. Highly engaged audience.
     Highly recommended event.

Tom

Narcosis

Six months ago I broke my arm in two places in a ridiculous bicycle accident. I was given oxycodone (endone) to take home for the pain. I took it in the early afternoon and sat on the couch and lay my head back and my mouth was agape and the ceiling slowly turned then turned back. It defied the laws of physics for never having a moment of zero acceleration. It constantly turned back and forth never seeming to slow down or speed up despite the direction change. And as I marvelled at the laws I was taught at school being flouted my daughters played around me. They might have played with building blocks or flicked through books or held a barbie doll that was given to us unsolicited. But I couldnt engage in what they were doing.
     Narcosis.
     It was pleasant even though I knew it was dangerous. I was not unwell and I was not dying but I knew that if some emergency occurred I would be watching the flames or the shuddering of the earth or the second coming of christ and still sitting on the couch with my mouth agape and my eyes looking at the ceiling and pondering the effects of the cataclysm on the ceiling itself rather than getting out of the house and grabbing as many of my offspring as I could carry.
     This evening I was on this computer listening to music and playing solitaire instead of doing something meaningful with my life. I was in a stupor stronger than the drug-induced one. I couldnt get out of playing the game. I understood its pointlessness. I fathomed its meaninglessness. But I was in an infinite spiral.
     As I did this a song called Narcosis played with its bent guitar notes in descending minor intervals and native american vocal harmonsation. The song gave me a landing on my spiral to rest and visualise myself.
     I stopped.

Until das naechstes mal,

Tom

Post - The Second

While flicking through the channels on free to air television I noticed there was very little on. There are good shows like 4 Corners, but they dont have topics every week that I am interested in. There is a show with the British Nanny who looks stern and scary and has christmas hams for forearms and why wouldnt children and adults do what she says?

     She will eventually have an army. Of this I am sure. She inspires fear in viewers with the forcefield of the television screen between. If she asked me to join her army then the best I could hope for would be to undermine her serruptitiously if I could unbrainwash myself.

     And on another channel Jason Akermanis is putting forth his opinion and getting paid for it. (I feel certain he would do it free of charge.) And yes or no as the only answers to intricate debates is promoted. 

     Vote Yes. Vote No. Where do you stand? Maybe if we are lucky there would be a third option. Undecided. I once heard a radio host put forward the following question for the Herald Sun Voteline:

Are you stupid enough to ring up to vote on this question? Yes or No.

     Since when is a debate decided by a yes or no? Since when were we marshalled into two sides only? Those who vote yes, can they please stand to the left. Those no, please to the right. Those unsure, wait until you work out which side has more and then gravitate towards that side with small shuffling and sheepish steps until you become immersed and anonymous with your opinion.

     I think it should be at least like a clockface with only the twelve numbers marked. Agree with most of what is said? Go to one oclock. Disagree with most? Go to five oclock. Not sure? Then stay in the middle. 

     But in reality it should be more like the points of a compass. Infinite points on which you could stand. Everyone's opinion given just as much weight as the newspaper's and the reporter's and the minister's who commented and the shadow minister's who countered and the redneck's from nextdoor who thinks that islamic fundamentalism is to blame and the libertarian's from work who thinks everyone's opinion should be given equal weight.

     I dont mean to contend that experts are not more qualified to comment but that opinions generated thereafter should be given equal weight.

     Of course after all this Mediawatch was on and its final story was about a hacker who had sullied the results of many of News Limited's online polls and claimed to have done one of Fairfax's. An editor responding suggested that news Limited would no longer be writing articles about the outcomes of polls. No longer!!

     Dont even know what to say about that statement.

     Until das naechstes mal,

Tom

Do you agree with Tom's opinions?

Vote Yes or No. You decide!

Introduction

Okay.
     Now.
     So.
     To call myself a luddite while typing on a notebook would be a touch hypocritical. To call myself neanderthal would also slip somewhere into that category. But I dont like technology for its own sake and I dont know enough about blogging to know whether or not it is a force for good or evil. I guess that depends on what you read and how you read it and how critically you analyse it.
     Herewith my first blog post.
     I commence by way of introduction.
     My name is Tom and I am the same age that Jesus was when he was crucified. I am hoping that sort of comment will be taken for what it was. Overly clever and probably incorrect.
     I live in a wannabe metropolis that is great for raising kids. The water is tasty like water should not be. The public transport is expensive and the innercity multilevel carparking is cheap and why are those things not the other way around? The city is flat and perfect for bike riding and the traffic is territorial and terrible for bike riding.
     My aim with this blog is a selfish one. I want to do this to have a reason to write everyday. To write is what I want to do and the only way I will get better is to keep doing it. If someone wants to read it ... let me know by way of post.
     And now I can no longer say I have never posted on a blog.
     Tom